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TEXAS PARKS & WILDLIFE LAWS REGARDING THE HUNTING OF ATTORNEYS
Section 373.00 HARVESTING 373.01 Any person with valid Texas state rodent or armadillo license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational and sporting (noncommercial) purposes. 373.02 Taking of attorneys with traps and dead falls is permitted. The use of United States currency as bait is,however, prohibited. 373.03 The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle is prohibited, unless such vehicle is an ambulance being driven in reverse. If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the dead attorney should be removed to the roadside, and the vehicle should proceed to the nearest car wash. 373.04 It is unlawful to chase, herd or harvest attorneys from a power boat, helicopter, or aircraft. 373.05 It is unlawful to shout "WHIPLASH", "AMBULANCE", or "FREE SCOTCH" for the purpose of trapping attorneys. 373.06 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of a BMW, Mercedes, or Porsche dealership, except on Wednesday afternoons. 373.07 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of a courtroom, law library, health club, or hospital. 373.08 If an attorney gains elective office, it is not necessary to have a license to hunt trap, or possess game. 373.09 It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise as a reporter, accident victim, physician, chiropractor, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys. 373.10 Bag limits per day: Yellow bellied sidewinder.............2 Two faced tort-pusher..................1 Back-stabbing divorce litigator......3 Horn-rimmed cut-throats...............2 Minutes advocating mini-minds......4 Honest lawyers.............................0** **Protected by Federal Wildlife Management laws as an endangered species. |
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